Help from your Shaving Support Group


Canberra dwelling Happy Clapping Bean Counter
Staff member
Site Moderator
Grand Society
2016 Sabbatical Fail
2018 Charity Auction Winner
2019 Charity Auction Winner
2020 Charity Auction Winner
Apr 26, 2011
I recently had cause to assist a fellow member in a purchase. Based loosely on a beer advert this is the approach taken:

Dear Mrs X,

My name is Mark, I'm part of X's Shaving Support Group (SSG).

As I'm sure you are aware X is a sensitive soul. He desperately want to be the very best person he can be for you. A large part of that is his personal grooming and in particular his facial hair. He has a peculiar concern that you will reject him if he is not immaculately groomed and, of course not surprisingly, that would devastate him.

He talks of you as the very best part of his life, an incredible gift, and of meeting you as being the high point of his life. He loves you so deeply he aches constantly to ensure that he can love you in the way you deserve, to honour you, to show you the respect and pride he has in you, to passionately communicate his desire for you, to acknowledge and bask in your reflected beautiful, a beauty that transfixes him.

At present this love is manifested in a desire to acquire a new shaving brush. This is not, however, any ordinary brush. It is a re-knotted vintage butterscotch Simpson. Rare, beautiful, a treasure worthy of sharing the vanity with your makeup and other items. It is a brush that will remind him of your beauty, your majesty, your unique and special place in his life. This is not just a brush - it is a testament to his love for you, a very tangible expression of his devotion and care.

Being part of X's SSG I've agreed to part with this brush for a token amount. An amount less than a nice pair of shoes or a half decent handbag. An investment that doesn't reflect the lifetime of use he will get from the brush, the years of constant reminders of you and his love for you. For around 1 cent a day over the next 40 years he will have a constant reminder of you and a special gift he can pass on to the next generation.

I hope that I've been able to convey the importance of this purchase to X. I trust that you will be able to support him in this important step for him.

Your in shaving support


I'm not sure that it was entirely successful but a compromise deal was eventually done and maybe this played a part.

Should any other members require similar support please let me know.

Alternative approaches relate to the find investment performance of vintage razors drawing upon my professional qualifications as a Chartered Accountant or the environmental benefits of DE shaving or indeed basically any angle that you think might work. I've been involved in politics and live in CBR so I can spin anything!
Last edited:
Jul 3, 2012
Sure that the letter was written by a third world prince who lost his wallet and only needs a new brush to claim his kingdom???:)-)


...was Drubbing's first. AKA Captain Tightarse
Aug 22, 2011
Mt Druitt Western Sydney
Lets see how we can translate the letter " Hey missus rubbing a hairy object across his face regularly reminds him of you" - all he needs is anchovy shaving cream and he would be set :).

The latter is from the well known ditty:
"If little girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice
How come they taste of anchovies" :)

With no offence meant to any person of any race gender or personal preferences.