Stolen blades

T

tullfan

Member
2018 Sabbatical
Joined
Mar 2, 2015
Location
Sydney
Radio just announced a bloke was stopped on mid north coast with 20,000 stolen razor blades in the car.
Please feel free to supply one liners.
 
It's rumoured that it's the descendant of one said Matilda Mary Twiss, looking to revive her legacy.
 
Hey @tulfan - have you seen the updated story -

Alleged razor thief released

A man stopped earlier today with 20,000 razor blades in his car has been released after being identified as a Gillette research engineer.

Senior Constable Schick confirmed that police had received information from Gillette Head Office in the United States confirming that the alleged thief was, in fact, one of their staff in Australia working on a previously top secret research project.

'It would have turned shaving on its head' the Gillette spokesman indicated to the media earlier today, 'Our Mach 10,0000 would have provided more comfort as well as an incredibly close shave', he said.

'The first blade lifts the hairs so the second can cut closer before grabbing the hair again for the third blade, which cuts closer before grabbing the hair again for the fourth blade, which cuts closer before grabbing the hair again for the fifth blade, which cuts closer before grabbing the hair again for the sixth blade, [this journalist fell asleep at this point until awoken some time late] which cuts closer before grabbing the hair again for the 9,998th blade, which cuts closer before grabbing the hair again for the 9,999th blade and then comes the 10,000th blade - and boy, does THAT come close!" the spokesperson told reporters.

At a likely cost of $500,000 per cartridge the Mach 10,0000 compares very favourably to the price of housing in Sydney and Melbourne.

'You can sleep well or look good' the Gillette spokesperson exclaimed, 'I know which I would prefer'
 
Just as I suspected a total beat up by the media.
The truth at last outs,and we can all sleep well,no look good tonight.
 
Mark1966 said:
Hey @tulfan - have you seen the updated story -

Alleged razor thief released

A man stopped earlier today with 20,000 razor blades in his car has been released after being identified as a Gillette research engineer.

Senior Constable Schick confirmed that police had received information from Gillette Head Office in the United States confirming that the alleged thief was, in fact, one of their staff in Australia working on a previously top secret research project.

'It would have turned shaving on its head' the Gillette spokesman indicated to the media earlier today, 'Our Mach 10,0000 would have provided more comfort as well as an incredibly close shave', he said.

'The first blade lifts the hairs so the second can cut closer before grabbing the hair again for the third blade, which cuts closer before grabbing the hair again for the fourth blade, which cuts closer before grabbing the hair again for the fifth blade, which cuts closer before grabbing the hair again for the sixth blade, [this journalist fell asleep at this point until awoken some time late] which cuts closer before grabbing the hair again for the 9,998th blade, which cuts closer before grabbing the hair again for the 9,999th blade and then comes the 10,000th blade - and boy, does THAT come close!" the spokesperson told reporters.

At a likely cost of $500,000 per cartridge the Mach 10,0000 compares very favourably to the price of housing in Sydney and Melbourne.

'You can sleep well or look good' the Gillette spokesperson exclaimed, 'I know which I would prefer'
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