I am really sorry to hear that, but also really glad you don't give up
@dewynter 
First of all stick to one at first - don't mix them up. Although similar, I think Mike's is a bit more intuitive and therefore I would recommend you to stick with Mike's.
If you have one in the original Mike's container - use that - the best sized container to lather IMO. If you just have a sample - press it flat into the bottom of a container, so at the end you have the same surface area as with a normal puck -this is VERY important, else you have to load forever.
OK, soak/wet the brush, squeeze it out (no need to shake after) add a couple drops of water to the soap and start loading. If nothing happens, or the sound is really pasty, add some more drops. Load until sound becomes pasty - add a couple drops - repeat.
Do it, until the lather on the puck is the way you want it! That's correct, none of that proto-lather nonsense - the lather on the puck after the load should be shave ready!
Now your brush is fully loaded and the lather inside your brush is too dry. So take it to your face/bowl and now you can build the whole lather by adding water - it takes a lot! I prefer mostly paint motions to build, then dip the brush into water, then a couple of circle motions to mix in the already hydrated lather on the outside with the dry lather from the inside of the brush - and then again paint strokes to build.
If you have time - do it tonight for practice - so there is not pressure that you have to use it...I know this sounds silly, but in the morning you are usually under time constraints etc. Once you have it and know how it looks - it is super easy to repeat and you will laugh at yourself, why you had problems - I have been there as well and almost gave up on Mike's...
Hope this helps and enjoy
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